Faith

Definition of Faith:

1. Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
2. Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence.
3. Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
4. A set of principles or beliefs.

Having Faith is hard for me sometimes. To me, it ultimately means that to have faith, you trust. And you trust with no evidence, reason, fact, and most of all...no fear.

Again, hard for me.

I have come to some pretty firm spiritual beliefs. Those firm beliefs are: I believe in God. Why? Don't know. I have no hard evidence, no hard proof, and i can't debate with those that don't believe. I believe because it's something i feel inside of me, and outside of that, i got nothin'.

But FAITH is a big deal and a hard act outside of spiritual beliefs too.

I don't always have faith in my ability to do something. I don't always have faith in people. I don't always have faith, period.

But i want to.

How do we build faith? How do we choose faith over fear, logic and experience? How do we choose to surrender to someone or something, and trust? I know it can be done because i have felt and seen it happen before.

I want to learn how.

My Dragon

i had a dragon once.

he was beautiful

fierce

strong

loyal

sensitive

and protective of me.

he was my best friend.

from the very first moment we "chose" each other

i knew i was in for the ride of my life.

he was different from anything i had ever encountered before.

he carried me through some amazing experiences

many emotions

lonely nights

little adventures

stomach cramping laughter

tears

heartache

comfort

and

he challenged me.

and

i enjoyed him.

my life will forever be changed

by our connection to one another

and i will remain grateful

for my whole life

for him

and the things we shared.

but as all good things must come to an end

our time together has.

at least for now.

i do not say goodbye in anger

or frustration

or regret

but in understanding

that we can not hold each other up any longer.

the load has become too heavy

and i feel we have both snapped.

i will love you forever, dragon

but it's time for you to fly.

the me map

Have you ever had a place you really wanted to go?

A location you haven't been before

but a location that has enticed you and jump started your curiosity?

I have.

And i have experienced people just the same.

When you are in place that's unfamiliar to you

and you wish to find your way around,

you buy a map.

The map doesn't give away the things you will find on your journey

or the experiences you will have

but it gives you guidance so you don't lose your way

or end up somewhere you don't want to be.

When you venture into a place you haven't been before

and you are following a map

it's easy to get so focused on what you want to see and where you want to go

that often times we don't experience and enjoy

the scenery

and the small places we pass through in getting there.

Just as visiting an unknown destination

people deserve the same amount of attention.

I have a map of me.

There are roads that haven't been explored before,

and roads that are over driven and in need of repair.

There are places inside of me that haven't been tended to in a while

or taken care of.

There are parts of me that are prettier than others.

There are places inside of me that can't be dimmed, damaged or ruined with time or circumstance,

and other places that have been destroyed and won't ever be the same.

Here's what i wish for:

I want someone to come to me

open me up,

lay me out,

and explore me.

LIKE A MAP.

Visit each part of my being.

Search the caves,

walk the trails,

and drive the roads of my emotional and mental world

as well as the physical body that cages me.

Have no judgement on my imperfections

and enjoy the beauties of me,

the mysteries that will never be understood,

and the wonders that have no reason at all.

There is much to be discovered and explored.

Currently,

I am waiting for someone brave enough to take the trip.