To whom it may concern,
I don't know why you have placed me in the life i have right now. Although it's not exactly where i thought i would end up, i am grateful for what i DO have, but would like there to be some adjustments in your placement of me in the year/s to come.
- First of all, i am supposed to have a lot of money. I am not sure if you have seen my bank account lately....but it's not lookin' good, and if it has slipped your mind please do so as soon as you can. If filling my bank account with the money i need isn't possible right away, then can you please be the one to call all my delinquent accounts and explain that i will pay them as soon as i can? I'd appreciate it.
- I'd like to thank you for my Honey Bear. She was exactly what i needed and i can't imagine having found a better puppy for me. She is perfect. Nice work.
- I'd like to be married someday so please stop sending me amazing men that just want to be my friend. It's getting really old and frankly I'd rather be a lesbian that have another "just friends" chat. I'm ready for something real. Time for the next phase of my life, please.
- Explain to me who Wyatt is and his purpose. Help me understand how i can love someone so much who doesn't seem to have the strength to be the man i need him to be. Help him find the words that he means to say, with complete honesty, and the clarity to know what he wants from me BEFORE he shows up at my house. K?
- Thank you for the health of my papa. Cancer is gone and i feel much better about that. I think you made a good decision here.
- Help my mom.
- Protect Brie.
- If you aren't going to give me the money i need to buy the Drano to unclog the drains in my bathroom, then please magically fix that problem because it's getting really gross.
- Please give me the strength to take out the trash every once in a while. Camerine is getting sick of doing it all the time. And please give her the strength to put her dirty dishes in the dishwasher and her recycling in the RECYCLING BOX, not on the counter above the dishwasher. It's slightly annoying.
- Last but not least, keep my intuition on cue and louder than ever as it will be my guiding light, once again, as i drown out the opinions of others and make the best decisions for me.
....and if it's not too much to ask, please allow me to eat all the chocolate i want and not have it add to my amazing, beautiful belly. My belly is perfect just the way it is and doesn't need any more help from the things i eat to become larger and more beautiful. Just sayin'.
If you have any questions or need any additional information re: the requests, questions and needs above, please let me know. I'll be in touch again soon.
Love always,
Lauren
